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Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age.  Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.  ~Tom Wilson

Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968

Youth is a wonderful thing.  What a crime to waste it on children.  ~George Bernard Shaw

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!  ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836

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Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!  ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836

Youth is a disease from which we all recover.  ~Dorothy Fulheim

Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.  ~Dinah Craik

Birthdays are good for you.  Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.  ~Larry Lorenzoni

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This guy got a tattoo of Tim Tebow's name across his back

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I'm sixty years of age.  That's 16 Celsius.  ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997

One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters.  ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640

I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.  ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter

I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.  ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter

There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself.  ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994

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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990

Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.  ~Don Marquis

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.  ~Truman Capote

It kills you to see them grow up.  But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.  ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.  ~Bob Hope

It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller

Never raise your hand to your kids.  It leaves your groin unprotected.  ~Red Buttons